While you weren't looking
by HollyHop
Summary: The boys from the Dwarf get Starbug into an asteroid storm and crash on a strange planet. The inhabitants live in constant fear of a tribe of wild beasts that roam the countryside. When Lister and Rimmer get into mortal danger they must fight for their lives. Feelings are pushed to the surface that both have buried for too long. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

Okay, this is my first try at fanfiction. Logic is also not my strong suit, so please feel free to point out any mistakes that really bother you. But I guess even Rob Grant and Doug Naylor got confused sometimes.

Again, out of necessity, set AFTER Legion.

Rated R for slash

While you weren't looking

Chapter 1

"You're not still jealous of Ace, are you? 'Cause that's insane." Lister was partly amused, partly annoyed. He was leaning over the side of his bunk looking down at Rimmer, who was packing a few things into a small canvas bag including his favourite book about Napoleon. A couple of days ago the four of them had been sitting together in their quarters, talking and playing cards. He couldn't even remember who had mentioned Ace first, but suddenly he had found himself talking about the adventures they had shared, praising his bravery. Lister hadn't even realised that Rimmer had gone completely quiet during the laughter and storytelling that followed, until his friend had suddenly gotten up and announced he was going to bed. No one had taken much notice, because Rimmer always went to bed first and he hadn't made any biting remarks about Ace as usual. But over the next couple of days Rimmer's mood hadn't improved and Lister had started to worry. Now he looked down at his friend, who had been avoiding him for days, not even sleeping in his usual bunk, but, presumably, in some of the officer's quarters a couple of decks down, where Kryten had seen him slouching around.

"I am NOT jealous. I'm merely pointing out that this trumped up little fairy is nothing more than a … a trumped up little fairy."

Rimmer tried to give his face a look of haughty indifference.

"Where've you bin then? I haven't seen or heard from you in days. You haven't even bin round to insult me or anything."

"I've … been busy." And with this zipped his bag shut and left.

'Ah, great …' Lister sighed, 'now he's off again. Well, done Lister,' he scolded himself, 'this is really how you get him to talk to you again.' He slumped down on his bed and banged his fist against his forehead in frustration. It wasn't even that Lister wanted Rimmer around. Or at least he hadn't thought he would. When he hadn't seen goalposthead for the entire day after their previous night's reminiscing about Ace, he had felt relieved and had blessed his good fortune. But then Rimmer hadn't turned up in the evening and Lister had started to worry. Was Rimmer mad at him? For still being hung up on Ace? Or was he mad at Ace? For being so charming and good-looking? Then again Lister didn't really think Ace was better looking than Rimmer, just different. They were the same – physically at least. They shared the same brown eyes, the same smile and the same trim body

'Oh smeg, now I'm thinking about Rimmer's body. This is not good.' He got down from his bunk and decided to look for Cat to get his mind off – well, to just think about something else for a while.

But Cat was nowhere to be found, probably napping on a pile of shoes inside his walk-in wardrobe and Kryten was busy with the washing. After standing around for fifteen minutes watching Kryten sort through socks, shirts, trousers, towels and underpants Lister decided to go looking for Rimmer himself. If the mountain didn't do something or other… he couldn't remember the rest of it, but it had something to do with getting stuff done yourself, if you wanted it to get done at all.

He ambled along the officer's deck hoping to run into Rimmer without having to knock at every bloody door. But no such luck. Every door was closed and there was no sound coming from any of them. Helplessly Lister stood in the long corridor when his eyes fell upon a door at the very end. "Capitain's Quarters". Immediately he knew that this was where he would find Rimmer. He knocked twice and then waited. The door opened and Rimmers face appeared, his expression changing quickly from curious to annoyed.

"What do you want?" His voice was weary.

"Listen, I just want you to know that …" Lister's eyes swept the room behind Rimmer's shoulder.

"Oooh nice." And with that said he pushed past Rimmer into the spacious suite. Everything was practical, but still tastefully decorated. Not exactly Lister's scene being almost painfully tidy, but there was a gigantic TV screen set into the wall opposite a double bed, which looked rather comfortable.

"Well, well, this is rather somethin'." And with a small jump he landed on the bed, which caught his weight gently. The covers smelt of something he couldn't quite pinpoint. Something like fresh laundry. He hadn't smelt that smell in his own quarters for quite a while, despite Kryten's valiant efforts. Jumping up again, he saw Rimmer's disgusted face.

"You really are a complete and utter louse aren't you? Now I have to ask Kryten to change the covers again. What are you doing here anyway, except making my life miserable, as usual."

Lister rolled his eyes and sighed. That really was a very good question. What was he doing here? Rimmer was much happier without him and he … well, he didn't have to suffer this constant whining and criticising. They remained frozen like this for a few seconds, each locked within their own thoughts of what the hell he was actually doing here. Then Lister found his voice. He looked around the room once again and then back at Rimmer.

"Just wanted to make sure I wasn't missin' anythin'." And with that he skipped past his former roommate and out into the corridor. The door closed almost silently behind him and Rimmer stood alone again in his new quarters wondering if Lister had meant the room or him and if he, Rimmer, was indeed missing something as well. When he had spontaneously decided not to return to their quarters, he had thought it would be the perfect move. Fresh quarters, a fresh start. No more dirty socks in the fridge, no more biscuit crumbs falling down from Lister's bunk onto his. No more bickering, guitar playing or endless evenings of "Smell that fart" with Lister and the Cat. Of course he had chosen the Captain's Quarters as his new residence, since he was effectively in command and they suited him down to the ground. They were tidy, comfortable and luxurious. He had asked Kryten to come round twice a week and give them a good run around with the hoover and not sleeping in a bunk anymore had been the icing on the cake.

But after a couple of days he had started to miss the constant chatter coming from Lister, the "new suit admiration hour" the Cat forced them to go through every other day and Kryten's apologetic muttering. He had actually missed the smell of old socks, cold curries, the noise of the bedsprings above his head whenever Lister turned in his sleep and the laughter they shared. 'Well, no use getting all sentimental now.' He thought. The laughter was usually because of him, the bedsprings kept him up at night, Kryten's whining was often unbearable and the Cat … well, if he wanted to see new suits, he'd switch on a video of the "In crowd", a popular fashion series back in … well, three million years ago.

It wasn't that he missed Lister or any of the others. He liked being on his own, reading, studying. He even thought about taking the engineering exam again, now that there was no pressure he imagined he would do much better. With that conviction he sat down again at his table and opened his book on "How to navigate through an asteroid belt". Somehow his thoughts kept flying off the pages though. He would read one paragraoh and then re-read it, because somewhere along the way, his brain would stop taking in the words and start to think about what Lister would be up to now and how much fun they had playing charades in the evenings before that Schmuckmaster Ace turned up. It was all his fault really. He swoops in here from another dimension and makes me look like a complete smeghead. And being handsome and brave to boot. No wonder Lister was immediately smitten. If only he himself could be brave and noble, then maybe … wait, what was he thinking? Rimmer jumped up from the chair and paced around the room. 'Why would I want to be like Ace, like that glittery insect in sunglasses. I don't want Lister to be interested in me at all. So there's really no need to be jealous.'

He closed his book with a snap and asked Holly to get him into his pyjamas. After getting his teeth brushed and face washed holographically he went to bed, determined no to worry himself about Ace and Lister anymore, because there really was no need.

As he fell asleep his mind once more replayed the scene when Lister jumped onto his bed and disturbed the covers. He had meant to ask Kryten to change them and then forgot about it.

'Ah, never mind.' He mumbled all but to himself and snuggled closer into the duvet before falling asleep. The next morning he moved back into their old quarters and never mentioned his little excursion again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Time snailed by, while they were flying through empty space with only a few hiccups here and there to make their lives more interesting. Ever since Rimmer had moved back into their combined quarters, Lister had had the feeling that they were getting on much better. As if some kind of poisonous sting had been extracted. The evenings were still spent inventing even more crazy methods of beating boredom over the head with a frying pan, but they were spent amicably with only a tiny bit of friendly bantering. Sometimes Lister would get into his bunk with a smile on his face, still replaying the evening in his mind and being extraordinarily pleased with his lot in life.

"Rimmer? You asleep, mate?"

Lister whispered into the darkness of their room hoisting himself up onto his left elbow.

"Hm-mmh." Rimmer replied sleepily. He had just been dozing off when he heard Lister move.

"I think we should turn tabletop skijumping into a real game and sell when we get back to Earth. We could get rich."

Earlier on they had yet again spent the day scouring the officer's quarters for "fun things to play with", or as Rimmer called it "for useful things to get us back home with" and had chanced upon a pair of skis with boots and a suit. They had then taken turns on the soapy surface of a table, which they had screwed down onto a set of steps in the engine room to swoop down the table top and nearly break their legs landing on a mattress at the bottom of the steps. Cat had won all five rounds. But what had been the most fun had been watching Rimmer overcome his fear and slowly sliding down the table with a look of horror on his face. Although he was virtually indestructible now that he had been turned into a hardlight hologram, it hadn't really helped lessen his inbred fear of losing in any game or hurting himself in any dangerous situation. But when Lister pointed out that Ace would have jumped in a flash, Rimmer put on a grim face and stepped onto the skis. Lister had applauded and even hugged him as he stepped off the mattress unhurt, fighting the urge to kiss him on the cheek.

He didn't want to destroy their newfound friendship by going too far too soon. But lying on the top bunk now, he wasn't so sure about this anymore, because this going slow business really seemed a lot more difficult than he'd thought.

"You really think we will ever make it back to earth?" Rimmer's voice was incredulous, but slightly more awake now.

"Why not? We might even find a time machine and get us back to earth before we even started."

"Hmm." Rimmer didn't sound convinced. Lister leaned over the side of his bunk trying to see Rimmer's face in the dark.

"I mean think about it. We could do everything all over again. Make a fresh start."

"A fresh start?" Rimmer was fully awake now looking up at where he supposed Lister's face was in the dark.

"Doing what? I still haven't passed the engineering exam, never mind any other exam and you? What have you got? Would you really want to serve on another Spaceship?"

"Maybe, I mean, no I wouldn't, I mean I don't know. What would you wanna do, if you could start all over again?" Lister's hair was falling down over his shoulder. His eyes could now make out Rimmer folding his hands behind his head.

"I would tell my father to go have intercourse with himself and my mother that she's a heartless female dog, who isn't even worth getting worked up about and then I would put cat vomit in all my brothers shoes and run."

Lister giggled.

"And what then? What do you really want to do? Who do you really want to be?"

Rimmer sighed.

"I don't know … I'm not fit to be a leader. I'm not clever enough to be an officer. The only thing I do really well is organise unimportant things and make endless lists of what is to be done but which I never do. I'm useless."

Lister reached down a hand in the dark.

"Hey, you're not useless. Stop saying that, alright?"

He knew Rimmer couldn't see his hand reaching down, but felt better for showing a sign of support.

"I'm sure there's a job somewhere, that needs someone like you. I mean, if I open my hot dog stand on Fiji, I'll need someone to make a list of what to do and to organise the whole moneystuff. You could come with …"

At that moment he felt Rimmer's fingers in his and stopped. He couldn't breathe. He simply held on to those fingers and time stood still.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

They must have fallen asleep like this, because when Lister awoke the next day, he was hanging halfway out of his bunk with his head pointing dangerously towards the floor. He opened his eyes and saw that Rimmer's bed was already made and he was nowhere to be seen.

'Oh smeg.'

He pushed the covers down towards the end of his bed with his legs and glanced at the clock. Five past seven! He had slept all day. No wonder Rimmer was already up and about. But why didn't he wake him up? Usually he clomped about loudly until Lister couldn't help but wake up. Making his way down the small ladder, Lister tried to make out any noises drifting in from the hall. But there was nothing. It was eerily quiet. Unusually so. This couldn't be good. Maybe Rimmer had killed everyone on board, to prevent Lister from telling anyone about them holding hands last night. Or maybe the others were all sitting together in the officer's mess. Rimmer regaling them with stories about how Lister had asked him to come to Fiji with him and then held his hand.

"Oh no, this was horrible. Why? Why had he done it?' And especially since he had told himself to go slow so many times. He had known about his feelings for Rimmer ever since Ace had turned up, but he hadn't wanted him to get scared and therefore tried to establish some kind of friendship first. And besides, he wanted to find out if those feelings were a temporary crush or the real deal first, before launching them on an unsuspecting Rimmer. He hadn't fallen in love with Ace, although admittedly Ace had certainly made him look at Rimmer in a different way. He had simply realised that Rimmer was the one he truly fancied. Why this was so he hadn't been able to work out yet, although he had given it a good deal of thought since then. But then again thinking had never really been his strong suit.

He quickly slipped into his overall and zipped it shut. He was just about to step out of the room when he almost bumped into Kryten, who was carrying a pile of fresh laundry.

"Mr. Lister!" Kryten sounded shocked. This couldn't be good.

"What are you doing? It's not even breakfast time yet. Are you ill? Can I get you anything?" Kryten sounded genuinely worried and that was when Lister realised that Rimmer hadn't let him sleep all day. On the contrary, Rimmer had silently slipped out in the middle of the night to avoid the humiliation in the morning. He felt suddenly faint. In the meantime Kryten had deposited the fresh laundry on the table and returned to check on him. He took his arm and led him back inside.

"Sit down, Mr. Lister sir, I'll get the Medi-kit."

"No, Kryten." Lister found his voice again. "I mean no thanks. It's okay. I'm fine, really, just needed a piss that's all."

"Oh Sir, I am relieved." And he started separating the laundry into piles and storing them in Lister's cupboard. Lister got up again to get himself breakfast. As he sat back down at the table with a bowlful of crunchy pops, Rimmer came into the room together with Cat. They were just discussing the options of what new and horrible creatures could lurk on the next planet they came to. They were laughing and Lister felt a lump in his throat, trying to figure out what Rimmer might be thinking about last night.

"Morning Listy." Rimmer made the greeting sound natural, but did actually look at his shoulder and not into his eyes.

"Mornin' guys." Listers voice was slightly off key but no one seemed to notice. 'Dammit if Rimmer could act like nothing had happened I should be able to do it, too,' he thought.

The day passed like any other, although Rimmer seemed to be avoiding being alone with him. At one point he even followed Kryten down to the laundry room in a pretense to be wanting to learn how to do the laundry in case of an emergency. Kryten was slightly puzzled at this notion, but didn't question it any further. Later that evening Lister was slowly beginning to worry. Sometime soon Cat would return to his room and Kryten would switch himself off to recharge. What then? Would Rimmer return to sleeping in the Captain's Quarters or would he sleep in his own bunk? Would they talk?

He needn't have worried at all, because when the time came to go to bed, Rimmer simply changed into his pyjamas, went to bed and apart from "Good night" didn't say another word.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

A couple of days later they were boarding Starbug to embark on a reconaissance mission towards a nearby planet with a possibly breathable atmosphere. They had packed a few things and taken up their usual quarters on board the Planet hopper. Apart from that nothing had changed. Rimmer still didn't spend any time alone with him if he could manage, avoided eye contact whenever possible and went straight to bed each night. Lister was frustrated by this behaviour to no end. Rimmer could at least say something like "Listen, you're a nice guy, but I'm not interested" Or maybe "I need some time to think about it" Or something. Anything. Maybe he was thinking about it and Lister should give him the time to make a decision. But maybe Rimmer was simply hoping that by ignoring the issue it would go away, much like Lister would ignore aches and pains or that godawful sore foot of his in the hope it would just go away without him having to see a doctor. Or in his case Kryten, who was the only one on board with enough brains to understand the medical unit.

Maybe he simply had to make Rimmer give him an answer. Then again, he hadn't really asked him a question had he? All he did was tell him he wasn't a loser and shook his hand. Oh my God, he was getting completely paranoid. Nothing had happened. Nothing unusual that could have given Rimmer, Mr. I-don't-get-sexual-innuendo-even-if-it's-clawing-its-way-up-my-bare-legs, even the slightest idea what Lister had felt at that moment when Rimmer had touched his fingers and then held his hand.

'Okay, thinking clearly now.' Lister said to himself. Rimmer is generally slow on the uptake when it comes to feelings. He probably has no idea what that moment meant to me. And he thinks everything is as usual. So, what now? What do I do?

At that moment the ship was shaken by a blast. Lister lost his footing and tumbled to the floor. Fighting to get back up again he heard the alert go off. He scrambled up and headed towards the cockpit meeting Cat on the way with his hair all messed up and only wearing one shoe. Kryten and Rimmer were already sitting in the cockpit, grabbing on to the steering wheels like lifelines. Starbug was tossing and tumbling through a meteor shower heading for the shimmering blue surface of a planet that was getting closer at an alarming speed.

"Get your spacesuit on Lister, We might crash." Rimmers voice was urgent and a little frightened. Kryten held onto the controls for dear life. Lister didn't bother with the spacesuit.

"If we crash at this speed I won't need a spacesuit, I'll need a bucket of superglue to fix me back together. Let me." And he shoved Rimmer aside trying to pull Starbug back up again and into orbit, but the meteor showers pummelled them mercilessly. Probably a beautiful sight from down on the ground. A shower of stars burning up in the upper atmosphere and in the middle of it all a larger star tumbling and speeding towards the ground. Lister tried to make the angle towards the ground less steep so they might have a longer approach and a shallower crashing angle. Moments before they made contact with the unrelenting surface he looked up into Rimmer's face. Rimmer looked straight back at him.

Then they crashed. Earth was thrown up as they gauged a deep rut into the soft ground. But fortunately there were no rocks, mountains, hills, streets or rivers to endanger their progress. The trees were mown down by the heavy spacecraft and finally they were also the ones that slowed their momentum and stopped them.

"Everyone okay?" Lister's voice sounded shocked but healthy. Rimmer looked himself all over. He was unharmed. Being a hardlight Hologram this didn't come as a complete shock. Kryten was trying to dig himself out from under a pile of metal. Lister and Rimmer helped him and after running a selfcheck he, too, pronounced himself unharmed. Cat had suffered a sprained ankle and a gash to the cheek, which was something that almost reduced him to tears, until Lister managed to point out that scars were handsome and dashing and any lady would be irresistibly drawn to men with scars.

Once outside they split up into two parties to scout the area. The weather was clement, the landscape with it's gently sloping hills and green pastures seemed nice enough with a bubbling stream cutting through them, which made them take the bazookoids and extra ammunition, because they knew something terrible would be lurking in this far too pleasant paradise.

Rimmer and Lister went south towards the stream, while Kryten and Cat went north towards the woods they had just ploughed through. Surely enough Lister stumbled upon a strange structure not a hundred yards from where they had crashed. It was a mixture between a mediaeval gallows and a slingshot, which encouraged the thought of corpses being slung into the general direction of the woods. Somehow that made Rimmer and Lister feel they might have made a mistake sending Kryten and Cat off in that direction. They looked at each other in foreboding. But Lister pushed on and Rimmer had no chance but to follow.

"I think we should go back." Rimmer's voice was timid. "We could try and fix Starbug and could be off before they even now we're here."

"You know we can't just fix Starbug. We need parts and fuel and we're almost out of food as well. I know this probably doesn't bother you, but it bothers me."

He looked at Rimmer, who raised his head.

"Then let's go." And he marched on ahead Bazookoid at the ready. Lister was almost too surprised to follow.

A few hundred yards further down they heard noises from behind. When they turned they saw Cat and Kryten running towards them at full pelt, followed by what seemed to be a hord of giant bears or apes. Hurtling forwards on all fours. They started running. In front of them they could now see the stark walls of a town rising into the sky, but the town was too far to reach it, before the bearapes caught up with them.

"Split up!" Lister's shouted hoarsely and he broke left together with Rimmer, while the Cat and Kryten broke right. Lister stumbled across a sudden ridge and tumbled down a small rocky slope. At the bottom of the slope was the river they had seen earlier. It was rushing straight into a small opening which might lead either to a cave or to certain death. Rimmer was beside him now and they both looked at each other.

"We're gonna have to try it." Lister took a deep breath and dived under water and into the water-filled hole. He swum as hard as he could and then finally the walls of the hole receded and he came up for air inside a cave. He scrambled to the side of the small lake that had formed inside the cave when Rimmer's head turned up in the middle of the lake, his arms flailing around in the water. Being a Hologram he couldn't drown, but like this he would also never reach the rim of the lake. Lister pushed back into the water and helped Rimmer to climb out of it.

They both lay beside the water panting. Lister from exhaustion, Rimmer from sheer panic. Lister was still holding Rimmers hand firmly in his and when he had pumped suitable amounts of oxygen through his lungs leaned over to his friend and kissed him square on the lips.

"I didn't think we'd make it." Then he fell back onto the hard ground and closed his eyes. He could feel Rimmer letting go off his hand and getting up. He didn't dare to look. Then he heard Rimmers footsteps crunching on the gravelly ground.

"They might follow us in here. We should be going." Lister opened his eyes and saw Rimmer standing over him with his hand outstretched. He took it and was pulled up. For a moment they stood close to each other still gripping each other's hands. Lister could feel Rimmer's eyes burning into his. They stood like this for what felt like days, but what were only seconds. Then Rimmer looked away and let go of Lister's hand.

They followed the flow of the water past the lake to a small brook and soon there was daylight again, where the water had over centuries carved a larger opening into the rock. They carefully checked their surroundings before stepping out of the opening and into … a city. People were milling about below them, children running playing hide and seek. Grocers offering their goods on a market. Horse-drawn carriages slowly maneuvering through the throng. They looked at each other again in astonishment. The river led directly into the city! And if these poor people were unlucky, Rimmer and Lister had just shown the beasts how to get in through the cave undetected. They would have to let someone know. But already people were pointing towards them and shouting something they couldn't understand. They climbed down from the raised mouth of the cave and stood there waiting for the men to approach. Some of them seemed to be asking them questions but neither Rimmer nor Lister could make out the language. So they simply mimed that they were unarmed, their bazookoids lost in the river, and that they were friends. They were beckoned to follow and were taken into a large building in the middle of the town square, where more men were waiting.

Again they were talked at in urgent voices but couldn't understand anything. They tried to make the villagers understand that some bearlike beasts had pursued them and that they had come here through the caves. The villagers showed them pictures of the beasts and Lister nodded making motions like swimming through water. Then the villagers laughed. They pointed at the beasts and then at the water and made faces of frightened horror. Obviously the beasts severely disliked water, which might be the reason for them not being followed.

They were shown to what were going to be their rooms for the night and given fresh clothes and something to eat and drink. As they sat there eating, Lister wondered what had happened to Kryten and the Cat.

"Well, whatever those wild things are," Rimmer pointed out, "they are not going to be able to eat Kryten. And as for Cat, he's smart, he'll figure out a way to escape." At this they looked at each other, because whatever Cat was, smart wasn't really part of it. And they both knew it. But they hoped that Kryten had found a way to get them both to safety. They were given a room for the night. On their way down the long corridors Lister worried that it might turn out to contain only one bed. And he didn't know whether he would be happy about that or not. But when the door was opened by the maid, he saw two single beds separated by a nightstand and let out the air he hadn't known he was holding. He could feel Rimmer throwing him a quick look, but didn't return it. The day had been strenuous and they both fell into bed exhausted. By the light of a single candle on the nightstand they looked at each other across the chasm between their beds. Lister again reached out a hand and Rimmer took it gently in his. Then Lister blew out the candle and they fell asleep.

After breakfast the next morning they tried to make the villagers understand that there were two more of their party having crashed on this planet with their ship from space. And that they needed to find the others. The villagers laughed at them, when they understood that the two men in funny clothes who travelled with a ship through the sky, wanted to go back out there and face the monsters, but agreed to furnish them with weapons, clothes, food and water, knowing full well they'd never see any of that stuff ever again. Lister and Rimmer left throught he main gates which were very carefully opened just a smidgen to let them pass through and were watched from the high battlements as they made their way towards the woods, where the creatures had made their homes and were now probably mighty miffed that a spaceship had ploughed down half of their habitat.

As they came closer to the trees Rimmer started panicking again.

"What if they kill us and eat us?"

"Listen Rimmer, you're a Hologram, they're not gonna eat ya. Alright? Now pipe down and let's get Kryten and Cat outta there alive."

Rimmer swallowed hard and they crept on. None of the creatures could be seen, but when they reached an opening in the trees they could finally glimpse the settlement of the beasts. Large trees had been stripped off their branches and used as poles to surround the compound. Some pointing outwards like giant spears ready to gut anyone who dared to attack. Trying to decide whether to sit tight and wait until nightfall or to try and scout out the compound now, they were ambushed by the giant beasts. They didn't even stand a chance to fight, were bundled into heaps and carried swiftly into the settlement with huge teeth gently clamped around their bodies. Looking down at their paws Lister finally realised what they were. Cats. The beasts weren't bears at all. Nor apes. They were giant cats. Six feet tall and twice as long. Inside the settlement they were dropped onto the ground in front of a large pyramidlike structure and at the very top was a throne on which sat – and this no longer came as a surprise to Lister – Cat. Kryten standing beside him looking rather smug. Lister stood up from the ground and patted himself down for scratches but was perfectly unhurt. Cat stepped down from his throne and hugged them both then leading them onto a large circle of hardened earth, were a feast had been prepared.

"How did you know we were coming to find you?" Lister was almost too astonished to fit everything together in his mind. The flight, the city, the cats and now …

Cat turned to him.

"When you jumped into that river and disappeared, my friends here saw you. And when they had caught up with us and realised that I was one of the cats of the original tribe, of which they are descendants, they brought us to this place. I'm their king, man! These are cats who developed from those who left Red Dwarf even before the great exodus. They were never as humanoid as I am and on this planet reverted to their feline ways. Only they grew much bigger and smarter than ordinary cats. We're free to go wherever we want to. I even made them promise not to kill any of the other humans again, who live in that great village by the river. When you left the human settlement this morning, some of the tribe followed you all the way here. They have an excellent sense of smell you know."

"Yeah, yeah, I know." Lister was a bit annoyed that they had indeed been followed without knowing about it. And that the cats had caught them so easily. But then again he was happy to know that the villagers were safe from now on. All four of them returned to the city and tried to explain to the people what had happened and that there wouldn't be any more attacks from the Cat tribe. Awash with gratitude the people supplied the Dwarfers with everything they needed to get Starbug back up into space again. Fuel was refined from oil, metal plates were welded over the holes in the chassis, food and water was loaded by the barrel and even the bazookoids could be recovered from the river.

Finally they took off and made their way back into the cold black emptiness of space. Even thought the Cat had thought about staying on and being King of the Cat tribe, he had decided against it in the end, because they were still hoping to recover Red Dwarf from whoever had stolen it and all his favourite suits were still on board.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kryten agreed to do first shift in the cockpit and the Cat decided to take a good long nap in his wardrobe. Lister and Rimmer returned to their quarters to get a shower and get back into their own clothes. Rimmer was already lying in his bunk reading when Lister got back from the shower dressed in his onepiece pyjama. He didn't look up from his book, until a shadow fell across his face. He looked up to see Lister standing in front of his bunk, arms akimbo.

"Well?" Rimmer was clueless as to what the question had been to which he was now supposed to supply an answer.

"Well, what?"

"Budge over then, you gimp."

Finally understanding what this was about, he scooted to the rear of the bunk with his back to the wall and put his book on the ledge above his head. Lister lay down next to him and slipped under the cover. He rested his head on his angled arm and looked at Rimmer who was slightly embarassed.

"Erm …," Rimmer started, but wasn't really sure where he was going with this and therefore stopped again.

Lister didn't think that he would be any more eloquent in this situation and therefore simply leaned forward kissing Rimmer's lips gently. Not getting a response he pulled away again and looked up to see what Rimmer was thinking. Rimmer's eyes were blazing. Lister could feel the powerful surge of wanting, longing, love and lust all raging through those eyes and he knew that his must look the same to Rimmer. So he leaned in again and kissed him more forcefully this time. And this time there was a response. He could feel Rimmer's hand on his cheek cupping his face and he lay back to let Rimmer roll halfway on top of him. Their mouths opened almost simultaneously and their tongues touched for the very first time. Like two birds fluttering against each other. Then becoming quickly more forceful dancing with each other, stroking each other. Listers hands slipped beneath Rimmer's shirt out of their own accord. And he almost bit his tongue off at the contact with Rimmer's skin underneath his hands. He started to slip the shirt up, while at the same time trying to savour the kiss. He wanted to do everything at once. Undress Rimmer, undress himself, kiss, touch, feel. They stopped for a moment to get their breath back and to slip Rimmer's shirt over his head. Lister unbuttoned his long-johns, cursing his trembling fingers and then laughing nervously. Rimmer was still too shocked by the development to notice Listers trouble with the buttons and simply lay there staring at him. Then Lister was finally free and stripped down to his boxers. Rimmer's eyes were on his body and he enjoyed the fire that it created in them. Their lips immediately found each other again and as they caressed each others' bodies they knew that out here in the endless emptiness of black space, they had found what they'd been looking for.


End file.
